Action Cleanup Crew

Dear -x-x-x-x-,

      We'd like to personally thank you for accepting a position as a janitor. You'll been provided with a mop and a vacuum, and there will be onsite incinerators to deal with some of the larger bits of debris you encounter. Employee safety is not guaranteed, but don't worry because it's next to certain that *nothing* will happen at any of our serviced facilities.

                                                                          --Sent by ActionCleanupCrew, inc.